Let’s talk about the “F-word”. Failure. Every individual has their own set of standards when it comes to defining what failure means for them. Whether we adopted the principles from our parents through life, other mentors along the way, or forged them from observing our environment. They came from somewhere.
Growing up quickly at a young age, I felt I needed to prove something and to me, that meant failure was not an option. This way of thinking put so much undue stress into life, that when I succeeded there wasn’t much gratification. To me, success (at that time) was just what needed to be accomplished. Feeling struggle, I sought the help of a therapist. It eventually became the best thing I could have ever done for myself! I wholeheartedly believe every one of us needs therapy. Life was, is, and can be tough. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
So with a trusted, certified, ‘mentor of life’ working alongside me, I started to blossom into someone who has now helped hundreds of individuals overcome hurdles. Sitting here now, I can honestly say I could not have done all the good I’ve done for others (so far) if I hadn’t have taken the time to work on myself first.
With that being said, I’m going to share with you the “simplified lessons” I learned about how failure leads to success so that you too, my friend, can start living a prosperous life.
Failure is inevitable.
First and foremost, know that you are not the only one experiencing these emotions and that everyone encounters failure eventually. It is an essential part of life that teaches us. How we allow it to affect us can make all the difference in the amount of stress we feel. Perfection is unattainable and causes a downward spiral. Negative self-talk among other unhealthy habits start to form. All that pressure eventually leads to strife and strain in all areas of life. Did you know that the feeling of rejection that can accompany failure can cause physical pain? The brain interprets that pain as a threat to our safety and therefore causes us to become distressed. No one needs that.
Failure is necessary.
As hard as it may be to read that, it is true. I was one of those people who feared failure because of what it might express about my character. I thought admitting such a thing was demeaning. Let me tell you, the actions that follow are what actually speak about your character. Although not everyone will admit when they've failed, I guarantee you know someone who has. Some big names you may recognize are: Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, and Abraham Lincoln. When we fail we learn something from that of which we failed. It’s humbling. This brings me to the next 'lesson'.
Failure is knowledge.
You become valuable because you have learned something through the process of which you failed. This priceless nugget of information is a gift! A blessing some might say. Now you've learned how something didn't work. So moving forward to the next step, you are able to proceed and refine your technique and/or method. If you happen to fail again, that just means you have another opportunity to dive deeper and explore new and creative paths.
Failure makes you capable.
You become stronger, smarter, and more aware each and every time. Take for example exercise. This is something you want to fail in, with the proper technique, to allow for muscle growth. We've all been there when we're working out and that last rep feels like we just can't do another one but then *bang* we find that inner strength to get another rep in. Feels good, right? This is what failure should make us feel like. We should want to push a little harder because we can. We are capable!
Failure is a motivator.
Following the moment you fail, you have a choice. Are you going to let failure motivate you to move forward or tear you down? We all have goals and we all want to achieve them but how are you going to respond when the time comes and you've missed the mark? Well, this is where failure separates the weak from the strong. We are naturally competitive creatures. Don't allow yourself to stay stuck in the mud. Don't wait for someone else to give you a nudge or push you along. We all get knocked down at some point. Some more than others but failure can be a motivator to get back up, brush off, and get back on track to achieve what we set out to in the beginning. Remember, it's a choice!
Failure qualifies you.
Believe it or not but you are MORE qualified if you've failed and continued to move forward and push through. By unveiling that of which you've learned from your past failures, and your ability to pursue your goals, your character shines through that you possess determination, willpower, and optimism. These qualities are admired. Continue to remind yourself that failure is knowledge!
Failure is rewarding.
You get another opportunity to try again but better! Now you know what didn't or doesn't work. After giving it all you got, and then some, the reward is so much more satisfying. Your sense of accomplishment is so much more gratifying because at that moment you realize that you could have easily given up but you didn't. You continued to chase your dreams and achieve your goal. The best feeling in the world is knowing everything you went through was all worthwhile. Trust me when I say, it is and it will be.
Failure is a success.
You did it! Not only can you revel in your success but you can help others through the experiences you’ve had. Keep in mind, you had a choice to make to get to where you are now. Sometimes that choice isn't easy for others to make on their own and that's ok. You hold a key and a testimony that can help someone else realize that failure can lead to success and that, in itself, is powerful!
So, while we’ve been accustomed to believe that failure is a disappointment and not an option, I want you to know it is OK to fail. It is what we do with that failure that defines us. We are each created unique and possess the capability to make the decisions to strive for more in life. Educate yourself. Seek advice and help. You don’t have to learn the hard way. Accept to learn as you go so that you can grow and don’t stress yourself about knowing everything. Ponder, without failure, where would we be?
The question I want to leave you with is, is failure success? Some will say it all depends. I agree with that. I also agree with the answer being YES! Let me know in the comments what you think!
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